Just like that...

I'm turned into some monster.
Some freak show.

These six months were supposed to change me. They did.

Not permanently.

I wish you could be out of my life. I wish I never had to see you again.
You make me feel like the most worthless pile of shit imaginable.

Until we meet again, which hopefully we won't, those feelings will once again go dormant.

The Start of Something New

It's been a while.


I don't regret the move. In fact I'm incredibly thankful that I was given the strength to make the decision and move. I have a hard enough time deciding what I want to eat. The move is going well, I'm finally feeling comfortable. I haven't found that group of friends yet, and maybe I'm not supposed to. Seeing how I already have that in Georgia. AH! Speaking of Georgia, I'll be there in FOUR MORE DAYS! Words cannot begin to describe how excited I am. I miss my friends so much, and my mom, gosh I miss my mom.

Not gonna lie, I am a little scared to go back. Sylvia is going to be there...and my mom. I'm not scared of them, but I'm scared that I may say something or do something and then get chewed up over it. Back on egg shells. However, I will do my best to be patient and kind 100% of the time.

Anyways, I'm kind of freaking out over guys. It's stressful because you have so many awesome people that dig you and you don't diggggg them back in that way. I mean, you'll know if I like you. I can't keep my mouth shut over things like that. Right now there are four dudes and that's three too many. I feel like an ass because I want to be friends with a majority of them and they want more.

Whateverrrrr.

I don't like church. Well I don't like the church I'm going to. It sucks and they are incredibly forceful with the belief of their religion. I don't want to confirm into a religion that I don't fully believe in. I don't want to lie. I'm trying, I am. I go to church alone every Sunday. Not much fun. I try to take in the message, but how monotone can our pastor be!? I doze off or start day dreaming. I need something exciting and interactive.

Gettttting my camera fixed.

The next three days at school are going to be hell.

I should probably end this on a happy note. I think the next time I'd be remotely close to even remembering this website would be around Christmas. OHH yeah and I got my GPA the other day...along with my social security number. Our school is SO RIDICULOUS and in the absolute worst way possible. I don't know how many pieces of paper I have obtained from that school with my social security number on it. It's absolutely idiotic. Yeah, no one will want my identity now, but just think. If I threw one of those papers away, there goes my social security number out into the world for someone to come upon and do with it as they wish. Like I was saying, I got my GPA a back and it's not so bad. It's a 3.6 so I have a little bit of time to bring it up.



OH MY GAWDDDDDDD I WILL BE IN GEORGIA IN FOUR DAYS!
I AM FREAKING OUT.




YESssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

It smells so good

I don't know what it is, but do you ever wake up, take a deep breath, and know it's going to be a great day? It's like breathing through a new nose after being sick for days. I'll admit, I was sick and it did feel great to be able to finally breathe through my nose again, but I've had this...this feeling everyday.

I need to get a job.
I can't wait until I can go work at Disney and meet amazing new people.
Although I should focus on now, and all the new people I have before me.

I don't regret moving to Louisiana. I'm glad. I miss Ben, Matt, Alex, Raluca, Corbin and all the Georgians I left behind, but I'll see them soon enough, and things will go back to how they were.
Louisiana is nice, the weather is terribly humid and hot, but I enjoy living with my dad. Things get done around here (without nagging) and there's no pressure, no worries. It's nice.
I'm glad I decided to take art. I said I would if I moved down here but it didn't look like there would be room in my schedule. Luckily things happen, and I believe they happen for a reason. So I seized the opportunity and had a talk with the art department. I was placed in Art II.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I get older, but I want art to always be apart of my life.
I can't wait to get settled down here. And I hope I stop attracting strange people, it's freaking me out.

mh, I want to do something more. Maybe learn how to ride a dirt bike, sky dive, eh Something.

Destination Disney

I've made up my mind. I'm going to be an artist at Disney.
Why not put my talent to work? These hands were made for drawing not drumming.
Although I truly do love playing the Marimba.
I think that art is something I was meant to do. Something creative at least.
But then comes the argument, am I creative or just logical?
I believe that I am not so much creative as others may put me out to be. Just because I can draw very well means squat. I think logic has a lot to do with it, and geometry. I believe that it's a lot of common sense..."well if the nose is this big and the chin ends here...then the ears should line up with the eyes" and so on and so fourth.

I may be completely wrong.
Just some food for thought.
I have a meeting Monday with Lafayette High's band director. I'm looking forward to that, I hope all goes well and that I will have a spot. I highly doubt that though.

I have to take physical education yet again...can't I just show them my active reds account? That should count for something!

I plan on staying single forever.

I'm so tired. I should read the bible Raluca gave me, it's gorgeous. I should also play pokemon..two badges!
:D:D:D

The Package Has Arrived!

I'm here, and already I'm surrounded by happy smiling faces.
As soon as I got here, which was around 4:30PM, I went over to visit nat and her momma.
Then Miss Chris, nat's mom, thought it a good idea for me to meet our neighbors who are also in the band. One of which plays the flute and the other who is the drum captain.
It doesn't seem like a position will be open for marching band, who knows maybe things will change.

I keep wondering whether or not I'm going to wake up and regret my decision.

I don't think so.


Good night tonight :)

Finally, a conclusion.

I've decided to live with my father and pursue my dreams of becoming an artist at Disney.
Why waste my natural talent like the rest of my family?

Anyways, today I told my mother about moving and why I wanted to.
Reasons:

1. I prefer the way my father speaks to me, and his overall attitude.
2. He actually enjoys spending time with me and lets me know this. I feel wanted.
3. We get along much better. I try to start the fire, he easily diffuses it.
4. I'm not scared of him like I am my mother.
   
5. He doesn't lead by intimidation but by respect.
6. and a plethora of other things not worth mentioning over a silly blog
   

I like being at home over there.

My mother didn't like the idea, she couldn't "talk" about it. She could only shout and raise her voice and repeat "I won't let you do this to me again", over and over. Then our conversation drifted as it usually does and we got onto talking about lying. What a touchy subject. We just love bringing up the past and denying the truth. (I can't say that that is sarcasm, seeing how we do bring it up all the time, but it's close). Any who, one thing lead to another and now I'm leaving tomorrow around 10am? Not complaining, just saying.

I had practice at 3:15pm. I told J.T. first, he was there...it was convenient. He looked a little teary eyed, but maybe it was just him reflecting my own face and hoping that I wouldn't cry. He did keep saying "it will be okay, don't worry about it...you'll be fine". I wasn't worried though and I didn't say anything to hint to it. But like J.T. said, "eyes give off the most emotion". I guess he was correct. I'll miss him, he was a good teacher. Next, was Mr. Lawless, the emotionless bag of chops and metric timing. He didn't have much to say, I think he'll do this band some good. I do however fear for the section leaders. I think he wants them to be clones of his self. Finally, the pit, my pit...my pride, my home, my heart. No exaggeration needed. Now for a walk down memory lane...(just real quick)

I remember my very first day walking outside in a new environment, observing this amazing high school drumline. I was intimidated by the older kids and impressed by those my age. I thought that they were the best pit in the world. They only had five players but they read music, played insanely fast, and could play two boards at the same time! While I, ignorant Sophie, could do none of that. I learned to read and became familiar with the xylophone. The next year I was section leader. Worst year by far. But here, now, we have a pit doubled in size, FULL of determination, full of potential. I wish I could stay.

And here I am, leaving. Leaving behind what I started. It hurts, really, it does. I can only hope that they will remember how much it meant to me and carry that with them in their hearts. Carry on what drove me, possibility, hope, desire. I hope that Brian doesn't go power crazy once he becomes section leader. I hope that Leslie and Vision give him the respect he deserves, and respect him even when he doesn't deserve it. I hope that the pit continues to communicate and grow closer. I hope that the Peachtree Ridge Band becomes known for their amazing pit and their awesome dynamics. Lastly, I hope that no one else dates anyone else on the color guard.
Really though, I wish the best for our pit. I hope that every single member gets as much out of their pit experience as I did.

That being said, I plan to join the band at Lafayette and push someone out of their spot...if need be.

Oh my, and I have so many boxes...boxes,boxes,boxes.
I have too much crap. I can throw things away, I can, really. I just keep the things with sentimental value, like I should.

Breakfast tomorrow at J.Christopher's.
Then car Tetris with boxes...boxes, so many boxes :/