Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Finally, a conclusion.

I've decided to live with my father and pursue my dreams of becoming an artist at Disney.
Why waste my natural talent like the rest of my family?

Anyways, today I told my mother about moving and why I wanted to.
  1. I prefer the way my father speaks to me, and his overall attitude.
  2. He actually enjoys spending time with me and lets me know this. I feel wanted.
  3. We get along much better. I try to start the fire, he easily diffuses it.
  4. I'm not scared of him like I am my mother.
  5. He doesn't lead by intimidation but by respect.
  6. and a plethora of other things not worth mentioning over a silly blog
I like being at home over there.

My mother didn't like the idea, she couldn't "talk" about it. She could only shout and raise her voice and repeat "I won't let you do this to me again", over and over. Then our conversation drifted as it usually does and we got onto talking about lying. What a touchy subject. We just love bringing up the past and denying the truth. (I can't say that that is sarcasm, seeing how we do bring it up all the time, but it's close). Any who, one thing lead to another and now I'm leaving tomorrow around 10am? Not complaining, just saying.

I had practice at 3:15pm. I told J.T. first, he was there...it was convenient. He looked a little teary eyed, but maybe it was just him reflecting my own face and hoping that I wouldn't cry. He did keep saying "it will be okay, don't worry about it...you'll be fine". I wasn't worried though and I didn't say anything to hint to it. But like J.T. said, "eyes give off the most emotion". I guess he was correct. I'll miss him, he was a good teacher. Next, was Mr. Lawless, the emotionless bag of chops and metric timing. He didn't have much to say, I think he'll do this band some good. I do however fear for the section leaders. I think he wants them to be clones of his self. Finally, the pit, my pit...my pride, my home, my heart. No exaggeration needed. Now for a walk down memory lane...(just real quick)

I remember my very first day walking outside in a new environment, observing this amazing high school drumline. I was intimidated by the older kids and impressed by those my age. I thought that they were the best pit in the world. They only had five players but they read music, played insanely fast, and could play two boards at the same time! While I, ignorant Sophie, could do none of that. I learned to read and became familiar with the xylophone. The next year I was section leader. Worst year by far. But here, now, we have a pit doubled in size, FULL of determination, full of potential. I wish I could stay.

And here I am, leaving. Leaving behind what I started. It hurts, really, it does. I can only hope that they will remember how much it meant to me and carry that with them in their hearts. Carry on what drove me, possibility, hope, desire. I hope that Brian doesn't go power crazy once he becomes section leader. I hope that Leslie and Vision give him the respect he deserves, and respect him even when he doesn't deserve it. I hope that the pit continues to communicate and grow closer. I hope that the Peachtree Ridge Band becomes known for their amazing pit and their awesome dynamics. Lastly, I hope that no one else dates anyone else on the color guard.
Really though, I wish the best for our pit. I hope that every single member gets as much out of their pit experience as I did.

That being said, I plan to join the band at Lafayette and push someone out of their spot...if need be.

Oh my, and I have so many boxes...boxes,boxes,boxes.
I have too much crap. I can throw things away, I can, really. I just keep the things with sentimental value, like I should.

Breakfast tomorrow at J.Christopher's.
Then car Tetris with boxes...boxes, so many boxes :/


  1. I guess it is the age we live in to communicate so openly and yet so impersonally...

    But a wise soul once said to me "there are two sides to every pancake"...True? Yes.Profound? Probably not.

    To have to be faced with an unplanned pregnancy at any age is truly a milestone in any young person's life. It's what you do from that point on that makes you who you are.

    First let me say...I kept you. I KEPT YOU. In the worst of circumstances I vowed to always be there and as many would say..."showing up is 80% of the game". Your father didn't show up for three years. Fact. Those you despise most now were and always have been there...when you breathed your first breath, walked your first steps and said your first words. Don't forget where you came from...it's made you what you are today... and it's been you and me kid since the day you were born.

    You prefer the way your father speaks to you. Understandable...it hasn't been daily.

    Spending time with someone is very different than trying to make a life for someone depsite the odds and it certainly adds a challenge. So many families have a parent that travels to provide and make life easier for those at home...are they so despised? Or are they appreciated for the sacrifices they make?

    To havea relationship wheere one is passionate and the other is passive is certainly ideal...again...you are my daughter...and I hope you are always passionate. Those who know you would more than likely agree.

    As a parent your goal is not to be "cool" or to be "friends" with your child but to be watchful and aware and to guide. Respect begets respect. There is a difference between authority by wisdom and experience and that of sheer intimidation.

    Your amazing experience to have met so many wonderful people here is due to my desire to provide better for you...to always expose you to more...and more...and more. Again...that is my gift to you...that desire to always want to see and do more. And like that of children of their parents...you will do more than I ever did...it is the natural succession of future generations.


    My God given talent is still there...dormant but there. Forgive me for redirecting it into the blank canvas...the masterpiece that is you. There is no greater work than that of preparing a child, albeit one that is often ungrateful, for this wonderous yet dangerous world we live in. My mistakes are many but I live life with no regret little girl. I hope that you see one day through the eyes of a wiser, mature woman, the choices I was faced with and where I went from there. No, you're not a bad kid and I'd like to think after all these years...I've had something to do with that. After years of self-introspection you will realize that character traits such as knowing right from wrong, standing up for a friend, loyalty and passion are rare attributes in this day and age.

    For all of you reading this...I hope that you stop what you're doing and go tell your parents how much you love them.

  2. Sophie after reading this sounds like you were REALLY close to everybody in pit at peachtree. I really hope you can get the same(or close to the same) feeling at Lafayette High. We're a happy pit family and you're in it now. :) Hope this year is one of your best!